His little Pony

Having loved all things equestrian since being a small child, i have to admit  i was intrigued and a little excited when my Master told me He wished me to train me as a ponygirl.    I was born in the year of the horse.. and whenever im asked to describe my favourite animal.. the horse is always without any doubt in my mind top of my list.   

Why?   Well..  when i think about my answer i think i can explain perfectly why at this point in my training my Master wants me to become His little Pony…   

Beauty, grace, elegance, strength..  but more importnantly,  the knowledge that such an intellegent, fiery creature would be mine to control and would respond willingly, beautifully to my every command..

My childhood pony was a beautiful chestnut arab mare called Ablaa .  She was the most beautiful thing i ever saw and i would spend hours grooming her, riding her and watching her in the field.  Every step she took her feet would prance and lift high,  her neck always arched delicately, head aloft,  ears constantly flickering this way and that as she listened to my every word.   Her paces were stunning, every movement perfect..  it was as if she knew her beauty, knew she was being watched. 

                                                                                      

How could i not long to be like such a stunning animal? How could i not.. as my Masters beast,  crave for him to look on me in the way in that way.. to think of me with such grace and beauty.. was it not part of His previous lessons?  Though still i wondered what it meant for me as a slave.. as a sexually submissive creature..

But as He pulled out the ponygirl items and began to dress me i felt the first tingles in my groin .. the stirings of arousal at what He was doing to me.  The harness slipped into place,  holding me tight in its leather grip,. a chastity belt snuggly fitted over my hips. dildo filling and stimulating me to keep me moist and ready for whenever Master should wish to use me.    He held aloft the tail, and my heart raced , such a sleek beautiful tail.. long and flowing.. attached so neatly to a smooth metal butt plug.    My insides flipped, i do so love anal play.. it is such a delicious naughty feeling tobe used anally, it makes me squirm, such a  dirty feeling to be played with in such a filthy way,  (i feel another post coming about this particular kink of mine. )  He made me bend over and coating me with thick lube pushed the plug inside .. the senstations were thrilling.. the feeling of the soft hair along the backs of my knees tickling and caressing .. the way it altered my stance.. my back arched to lift the tail high.. bottom thrust out.     

Finally he slipped on my bit gag, a smooth rubber bit held with leather securely fastened around my face.  The transformation was complete.    I was indeed a pony, an animal submitting to my Master.. i was completly in his control

The effect on me was subtle yet powerful. I think perhaps i have not conveyed it well to Him, that maybe when He reads this He may be suprised at the impact it had.   Something in my dressing gave me a different feeling of submission as if i truely were the animal i am equated to as a slave and the effect that had on my suprised body was one of such arousal it left me soaked and longing for His touch.     In making me a pony He has reminded me that my happiness, my health, my needs and my sexual fullfillment are fully in his power.  As a pony i must be beautiful or i may be whipped.. and i must rely on Him for everything.   

 

 

And so.. the pony girl ablaa has been brought to this world.  She is shy and not fully broken to her bit as yet, but with time, and the patience i know my Master has,  she will learn to be an elegant show pony.. as graceful and exquisite as the stunning arab mare she was named after..

Girl xxx 

Exquisite beauty and absolute obedience

“‘What are my duties?’ I asked. ‘Exquisite beauty and absolute obedience.’”‘-   Slave Girl of Gor, page 261

This week my Master told me to think about these words.. what they actually meant to me, not literally.. but in my heart, in my belly, what they meant and in those words he began my training.. 

What did it mean to have  ”Exquisite Beauty”.   It didnt mean how i did my hair, or the diet i went on, not what clothes i would wear, or indeed lack of them!      It didnt mean the way i applied my makeup to enhance what i was given.   

Those things of course could highlight aspects of my physical appearance.. could perhaps catch his eye.. but would they keep his eye?  Would they please him in everything i did?  No.. that wasnt what He meant.   He wanted me to look inside myself to think about how my every day movements and actions would be seen. Could i be absolute in my slavery.. in my obedience to Him.. could i , ignoring the physical appearance god blessed me with , become exquisite by carrying out every motion every action, every task .. every breath with grace, demeanor, good manners, respect, obedience and a heart felt need to please.. 

Will slavery .. and everything that it brings. in fact make me more beautiful than any amount of preening could? 

“Slavery itself,’ I said, ‘often makes a woman more beautiful and desirable. It removes tensions. It removes inhibitions. It makes women happy. It is hard, I think, sometimes, for a woman who is happy not to be beautiful. Sometimes Goreans ask, is she slave because she is beautiful, or beautiful because she is slave?”

Beasts of Gor, Pg. 247

My training started with an instruction in real life,  to go about my chores with grace,  to imagine Him standing behind me at every moment.. whip in hand. waiting to correct me should i slip or falter.    So i started my first task, nothing more than making a good old english cup of tea, something i do so often i could do it in my sleep. (.. yes . i am a tea monster.. id have it on drip if i could!!)     I noticed how i moved differently.. how each tiny movement was controlled.. light, my stomach held in.. my posture correct.. back straight.. how , when i opened the cupboard to grap a mug… i didnt grab.. i stretched up on toes and delicately, gracefully.. lifted it down.. i moved like a dancer.. perhaps not yet so fluidly.. my body still consious of each move.    And after only a few minutes  i felt different… i felt.. almost .. beautiful..   You might not think that is much.. but for me… someone who’s confidence in their appearance is shall we say.. somewhat lacking.. this was .. almost a revelation..  so much so that it stopped me in my tracks.. made me close my eyes and imagine my Masters smile ….

Every day this week i have practiced.. as i walk through the corridors at work.. as i make the bed each morning.. as i cook dinner in the evening.. .. now… im still a long way from the completely natural grace normans kajiras posessed.. but im getting better.. the movements easier.. my steps lighter.. the way i carry myself..   I almost feel i should be walking around at home with a book on my head..!!!  

My Master will im sure let me know how i am doing.. and will correct me plenty!!  i can see now just how much i have to learn ..  How i can bring grace in the way i react to things as well as my movments will be my greatest challenge.   Even today i let him down,  reacting to a situation with sulleness.. jelousy and well.. complete lack of grace.   My behaviour was in short … ugly..   My Master,  as i am seeing more each day is his way,  reacted with such self control and sureness that i was immediately ashamed of my behaviour.. wished i could undo it..  of course .. we cant take back time.. but my learning today was a sure one.. i must bring grace to every part of my life.. and my greatest beauty .. will be in how i handle my darkest moments…

girl xxx

Insecurity

Today my Master saw my insecurity.. that little nagging voice that sits inside us all telling us we just arent good enough..  that voice that told me,  “your not exprienced enough, why would He want you, you dont know what you are doing, you cant write, you can’t give Him what He needs…. “  and i listened.. i sat.. and in the hours my Master wasnt online .. i let that voice convince me.. i let it tell me He wanted someone different.. someone who could write a journal who could be everything that i thought He wanted.. 

I dwelled and mulled on these thoughts for hours.. going through anger and hurt, imagining playing up. acting out when i next saw Him anything to make Him maybe release me.. to do what exactly it was that i feared.. 

But do you know .. when i came to see Him something about His stillness.. His reassuring warmth and control made me stop.. made me push aside the inner teenager who wanted to stamp her feet and push him away and instead I told Him what i was feeling..   and in that moment i learnt my first two lessons with Him. 

My first lesson was that.. no matter how i feel about myself,  how many insecurities i may have,  doubts in my mind, those are not His.   His choice to take me.. to shape me.. to own me and teach me.. is His choice alone.   He saw something in me and me doubting myself.. is me doubting His choice.. His wisdom in taking me.   So i must trust in Him.. trust in His wisdom His knowledge.. 

My second lesson.. was about communication, about the importance of acknowledging my feelings and sharing them with Him.  and i saw for the first time a glimpse of why He asked me to write this journal.  To have somewhere, that i could think aloud to put down in words those crazy, insecure thoughts i might have in the time i am away from Him.. yes.. but more than that..  to have somewhere that i can get to know myself understand and let Him understand how i am feeling and growing.

And do you know what…  He did want me afterall ……..

girl

Beginnings

Where do i start.. my Master told me to write a journal,.a record of my thoughts.. my feelings..  part of my training.   I never did keep a journal, even as a kid…as a teenager,  i never wrote down my thoughts.. so where to start….

I suppose at the auction.. what made me do it.. laughs.. im not really sure, a need .. something dark. a desire to be looked on as an object. bid over.. hanging there to be examined , touched, questioned.   Master Baxters put the idea back in my head, an old idea that had rumbled around in my fantasies for many years.. fantasies that had been pushed back hidden behind the odd tin of beans and childhood memory located right in the dark dusty corner of my mind.    Fantasties that stuck out a hand and poked me every now and then as i lived a life in Gor.. one of a gorean slave.. a beast.   I love the books of Gor.. the philosophy, the idea that Men are the dominant species.. women the softer more feminine.. it is how nature intended..   One of my favourite quotes from the books of Gor…

“Masculinity and femininity are complementary properties,” I told her. “If a man wishes a woman to be more feminine, he must be more masculine. If a woman wishes a man to be more masculine, she must be more feminine.”

Page 205 – Explorers of Gor

But my time in Gor came to an end.. i wanted something more..  something darker deeper than the world of rp.. So, i went for a walk down to teh BdSM ranch where Master Baxters took me under His wing.. planted the idea of auction into my mind and passed me to the firm kind hands of Master Gurney at ETC.   

The experience was everything i hoped it would be the excitement i felt hanging there.. Masters and Mistresses looking me over.. assessing me.. reading my card.. Oh yes the card..  my deepest wants.. desires.. limits.  This is all so new to me. i didnt even know where to start..  only my imagination and very limited experiences  telling me what i would like or not.. Masters soon pulled me up.. tested me as i hung there.. brought me to tears.. made me angry.. made me scared.. the emotions were real.. the day of my sale i hung there.. surrounded by 3 taunting Free.. my fingers typing the keyboard as tears poured down my cheeks in rl.. i was a mess.. but i couldnt turn off the pc.. i couldnt walk away.. because i had met HIM.. the one i knew i wanted to own me.. to possess my mind, my body.. to teach me this dark and exciting world  He who talked to me at length about this world.. that drew me into His…  

Master Adam Zadeh.  

His calm, strength enticed me.. made me long for him.. i begged him to bid for me.. pleaded with Him to come back .. and he did.. with the help of good friends He bought me.  i was His.. my story could begin..  i am now girl , a slave with no name  .. a beast at his feet.. nothig more than an animal with no control over what he will do with me.   and i cannot control the joy and excitment i feel at that.. how wet it makes me …

And so. it begins.. .. writing this. the excitement of what will come.. He promises me pain, tears, excitment, joy, pleasures, overwhelming feelings…. and i believe Him.. I trust that he is going to take me on the ride of my life.. be it through the world of SL, His hands will reach me..

I cannot wait to explore this world at his feet..

girl